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James Abercromby:That meeting with Reverend Dulcie Chesterman was revelatory – I think that’s the best descriptor – and by the time I left, she was ‘Dulcie’ (pronounced with a hard ‘c’, ‘Dulky’) and I was ‘James’, and we had a plan.I say ‘we’ had a plan. I was only too happy to go along with Dulcie’s advice. I was just too far out of my ‘comfort zone’, as they say these days. She did, however, insist that I take the lead as Alice’s pastor. She came to the Manse the week after our initial. Kev was with Donna, a Newcastle girl, long dark hair and dark eyes, and a superb figure that her hiking gear didn’t hide. Paul was with Mags, she was lovely, a red-head with long legs and a cute arse.The boys had done well and as we sat there getting increasingly pissed I cursed myself for messing up again.It had got late and we’d all collapsed in to our tents, I undressed and zipped up my sleeping bag and got my head down.I’ve no idea what time it was when I heard the zip of. One night after finishing I’m Your Captain by Grand Funk RR, a girl called out to me from the audience. When I got down I went over to her table and introduced myself, and we hit it off from the start. She was a 32 year old attorney, single, living at home, didn’t want to marry a Mexican, and her biological clock was ticking. She wanted a baby, and looked at me as the perfect surrogate father, and we talked about it, and I told her to draw up a contract that would leave me free from. It might mean evil, but it often occurs in sexual contexts.” I laughed and said, “It could just as easily mean horny.”“Why don’t we hear more about these evil female Leprechauns?” she asked.“They aren’t Leprechauns!” I said loudly, looking around to see who– or what– might have heard her. “And the wee men get a little upset if you equate the two of them. They are wee lassies and that means that they are NOT Leprechauns! There are no female Leprechauns!”I looked around again making sure that.
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